Last year I finally did something I'd been meaning to do for years, putting together the WORST MOCK DRAFT EVER. The purpose? To troll every single NFL fan base (or at least as many as possible) with the worst possible pick for their team.
A funny thing happened along the way, though ... I kind of got a few things right. By accident naturally, of course. But by giving the Panthers Will Levis with the No. 1 overall pick, I trolled Texans fans by passing on Bryce Young for C.J. Stroud. Which looks genius now ... or stupid.
One or the other. Maybe both.
Regardless, we're back this year to make terrible picks for every single team. But the point of the mock is they have to be realistic picks as well.
Lest you think this is an outrageous exercise, let's remember the Raiders once took JaMarcus Russell with the first overall pick in a draft that featured Calvin Johnson and Joe Thomas, two can't-miss prospects who are now Hall of Famers. Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert were drafted right in front of JJ Watt (and Locker was taken in front of Tyron Smith too).
The Eagles drafted Jalen Reagor over Justin Jefferson ... and still went to a Super Bowl in spite of themselves. Even Bill Belichick took N'Keal Harry instead of Deebo Samuel, A.J. Brown or DK Metcalf.
Stop pretending your favorite NFL team makes the right decisions on draft night. NFL teams do stupid things all the time. Come join me on a voyage of bad decisions!
For more draft coverage, you can hear in-depth analysis twice a week on "With the First Pick" -- our year-round NFL Draft podcast with NFL Draft analyst Ryan Wilson and former Vikings general manager Rick Spielman. You can find "With the First Pick" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, etc.
NFL Mock Draft
Round 1
From
Carolina Panthers
Round 1 - Pick 1
OK ... someone has to take Caleb Williams. And the only things I could come up with would be the Cardinals trading up to No. 1 and sending Chicago Kyler Murray or the Packers trading up to No. 1 and giving up Jordan Love. But none of those are actually realistic. Congrats Bears fans, you are untrollable for the next several months and maybe much longer if Williams is actually as good as advertised.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 2
There was legitimate buzz about McCarthy going second overall, based largely on the premise he's a higher-end version of Brock Purdy, who Commanders GM Adam Peters helped acquire in San Francisco.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 3
There's nothing wrong with grabbing a generational WR talent but passing on both Jayden Daniels and Drake Maye would make people pretty mad.
| |||||||
Mock Trade from
Arizona Cardinals
Round 1 - Pick 4
This might be enjoyable for Giants fans but unfortunately in this case they gave up a future first-round draft pick to move just two spots up and grab another ACC quarterback, with multiple quarterbacks sitting there ahead of them at No. 6.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 5
If the Chargers stand pat and don't take one of the top wide receivers here, you can expect their fans to be pretty upset.
| |||||||
Mock Trade from
New York Giants
Round 1 - Pick 6
The entire world has penciled the Cardinals in for a wide receiver and that's fair, but they still need a ton of help on defense and could decide to address WR in the second round if they miss on MHJ.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 7
The Titans have hyped up Will Levis a lot this offseason but he's a second-round pick. There's no guarantee a new coaching regime wouldn't draft over him if the reigning Heisman Trophy winner fell in their laps.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 8
The Falcons have Drake London and signed Darnell Mooney but they could arguably still use help and depth and top-tier talent at WR if they believe in these prospects.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 9
It's kind of difficult to troll the Bears, but passing on Rome Odunze to pair with Caleb Williams or grabbing an OL to protect the QB at nine is probably the closest thing.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 10
The Jets adding another pass rusher wouldn't even be that shocking for this regime but people (aka Aaron Rodgers and all Jets fans) might not be thrilled!
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 11
Anytime you can get another weapon for SAM DARNOLD you HAVE TO DO IT.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 12
The Broncos NEED a quarterback but taking Penix here would qualify as a reach and probably rile up some Denver fans.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 13
Nothing wrong with Bowers! But it has to feel like a luxury pick for the Raiders here.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 14
Again, nothing wrong with the player but the Saints not improving the offensive line in this draft would be a pretty aggressive mistake.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 15
Hey buddy that offensive line is getting older in Indy.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 16
Seahawks fans badly want linebacking help?!?! You got linebacking help!!!! (I actually think this is a sneaky real-life option for Thursday, fwiw.)
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 17
Jags fans really want a wide receiver but they're probably more likely to be disappointed in Round 1 based on Trent Baalke's history in the NFL Draft.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 18
This might end up being a legit/good pick but Bengals fans can't be thrilled about simply "drafting Tee Higgins replacement" a la Jessie Bates.
| |||||||
Mock Trade from
Los Angeles Rams
Round 1 - Pick 19
With Thomas coming off the board, David Tepper panics and trades both of his second-round picks to the Rams to move up into the first round and guarantee he gets a wide receiver. So the Rams still haven't used a first-round pick since 2016 (Jared Goff!) and Carolina is giving up tons of draft picks to get the back end of a wide receiver run. EVERYONE LOSES!
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 20
The most troll thing would be taking a QB, but I don't think they'll realistically do that in the first round ... this is actually a pretty good pick maybe? Sometimes you run out of troll steam halfway through the troll draft.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 21
Dolphins fans probably wouldn't be thrilled with the team adding MORE TINY SPEED at wide receiver.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 22
This might be a realistic pick! Howie Roseman drafting a Georgia player to eventually replace Lane Johnson?!
| |||||||
From
Houston Texans
Round 1 - Pick 23
Vikings fans would lose their MIND if they stood pat and went WR and CB in this draft after expecting a massive move up to get a QB.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 25
Packers fans probably believe they're set at WR and even if this is a pick they don't hate, it always manages to troll Aaron Rodgers! (Twice this draft, sorry Aaron.)
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 26
A very good player in a spot where maybe the Bucs don't need him? IDK
| |||||||
From
Houston Texans
Round 1 - Pick 27
The Cardinals coming out of the first round with two defensive players would be objectively hilarious.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 28
A very good player ... but not a wide receiver!!! Bills fans would be apoplectic.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 29
The Lions are grabbing an offensive lineman for the future guys.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 30
An Alabama prospect who doesn't help the offensive line or get Lamar Jackson another weapon.
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 31
I love the idea of Ladd on a Kyle Shanahan team but it's probably extraneous!
| |||||||
Round 1 - Pick 32
Another fan base that would be fairly miffed without a WR being selected in the first round.
|
